IslandMode

As if raging hormones wasn't enough to deal with when growing up, pressure and confusion doesn't make the road any easier. When it comes to sex things can get real complicated. So let's continue our discussion on how to make this road a little less bumpy.

Some time last week I came across the Tribune and on the front page was a gruesome story that not only shocked me, but scared me out of my whits! It was a story about an influx in young girls being pregnant; and this was not one of those teenage pregnancy stories, this time it was about 10 year old girls being pregnant!

Yes- 10 years old! With some cases being the cause of incest!

I strongly believe that sex is taboo in our country and it's hard to talk about it when everyone is shying away. So I'm here to do my part. Let's talk about SEX, it's misconceptions, information and everything in between. The Next 7 post will be geared towards sex and everything I think every young adult should consider when making that next step. Hopefully some of this information can be useful to grown people as well.

In my last post I talked about the importance of communication when the thought of sex comes about and now I want to hit on one of the most crucial things to consider and that is choosing the right partner.

A lot of people have horror stories when it comes to their first sexual experience so I decided to talk to those people myself. I conducted a survey, asking 20 males and 20 females, between the ages of 18 and 35, if they regret who they shared their first sexual experience with and here are the results.

10/ 20 females said they regret who they shared their first sexual experience with and 10/ 20 said they did not regret who they shared their first experience with. I thought those numbers must have been coincidence so I chatted with the guys for a bit and the numbers were a little different.

7/ 20 males said they regret who they shared their first sexual experience with and 13/ 20 said they don't regret who they shared their first experience with.

The most interesting part about this survey was the conversations that followed. Quite a few were horror stories but for the young people that said they regretted who they shared their first experience with they stated that simply thinking you love someone is not enough. You should be sure that you know that person well. Sex should not be handled lightly as there are lots of emotions involved so be sure to guard your feelings and your body.



Having sex ties you to someone emotionally and if that person decides that those feelings no longer exist you will be heartbroken in the end and no one wants a broken heart.

'In society, women are taught that when they have sex for the first time they are loosing something or giving of themselves but men are taught that they are getting a piece or gaining something' , said John Doe (32). That explained the casual responses I got from the males. Most of them laughed about the matter and commended themselves for such an 'achievement' when most of the young ladies answered with bitter tones with resentment at the tip of their tongues.



Whenever you decide that it is the right time to have sex be sure it is with someone you know well. Talk about everything. Do you plan on staying together? Are you planning on using a condom? Is this the right time? Do you care about me? and the list goes on. If it's on your mind speak up. This first experience will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Remember, choosing the wrong partner can leave you pregnant for a stoner with no future of with an STD or even HIV.

Simone left home for a trip with her family while Marcus stayed home to do the usual. You know, work, take care of the bills, watch endless amounts of TV and not watch the plants because he could care less.

Since their last encounter (SexChronicles1- Cook your way to my thighs) the two haven't been getting themselves in much 'foreplay' so this trip was a true tester of their ties to one another.

Can they handle it?



The first night away seemed bearable for the frisky miss but she couldn't get her mind off dear Marcus. His strong arms, charming smile, chiseled abs, contoured biceps ... he was close to perfection.

As she dosed off after the family went to bed she thought about the way he kissed her. Precise! A few pecks then in for goal! Head drawn back, shoulders relaxed, bodies as close as they can be, a tug at the bottom lip as he plunges himself in her orifice ... this

was going to be hard ...



Touch me Beneath the stars, over the mountains, across the seas ...
remind me of your courage and your power to make me weak in the knees ...
blow kisses across the land and through the walls ...
squeeze your favorite parts and make your call ... I need you next to me



but he wasn't there ...
no where in sight to please her like she's never been before.

She wondered what he's been thinking about while she was gone. Did he miss her tender, subtle ... 'twins?'
Did he miss the graze of her skin? Did he miss the grip of her fragile arms? and what about the moan in her yearning voice ?





We'll find out next time

I've found the power and magic of a bra that fits like a glove and is beautiful at the same time.

Ladies, it's time to throw out the old ones your mother bought for you and time to run over to the nearest UnderWear store to get yourself fixed, held and sexified!

Wearing the right bra size is very important. According to kidshealth.org wearing the right bra size minimizes jiggling of the breast and also shapes the appearance of a girl's breast. They're also helpful from a health standpoint because wearing the right bra size keeps breast supported during activities and can help prevent injury to breast tissue. If a woman has large breast the right bra size is particularly important as it helps with posture.

If your bra is too small it would result in chest pains and extra fat underneath the arms. Nipples may not be held in properly.

If your bra is too big the extra fabric doesn't look so flattering underneath your clothing. It also causes the girls to hang as they lack support in this case.

If your bra is heightened in your back you may be wearing the wrong bra size. The back should be on the same plane as the front.

If the bottom part of your breast is hanging out of the bra it may need to be adjusted or you may need to change your bra size.

*Perks* of wearing the right bra size

A reason to dress up: Use this as a reason to match from shoulder to ... well you know ... and enjoy yourself while running errands throughout the day; knowing you are dynamite underneath those jeans and tanks.

Extra hold and support. Wearing the right bra size helps with keeping the girls in place during vigorous activities.




Comfort: The right bra size feels like you're being held by soft fabric and is easy to move around in.



Confidence Boost and HE has something to look forward to: Wearing the right bra size makes you feel like you can get the job done and still be fabulous underneath.



Lorene's located on Bay Street, Harbour Bay and Palm Dale allows customers to try their bras before purchasing so be sure to grab a size and head to the changing room before leaving the store.

Leave your old bras hanging and not your boobs. It's time to be supported, held and sexified!



Check out this video for more bra fitting tips

I must be missing a 'Chick- Chip' because after seeing this movie by Jennifer Lopez I'm starting to question myself, 'Is there something wrong with me?'

In her latest movie 'The Back Up Plan' she plays the roll of a single woman who wants a baby. She decided to go to a sperm bank for artificial insemination and it all spiralled out of control from there. Before she knows it she meets the glistening haired-golden smile-trophy boy and falls for him.

Long story short: She is frightened about what's about to happen, she falls in love and tries to figure out how she's going to tell her new beau.

This movie really started to get underneath my skin when she later found out that she is not only pregnant by a freckled face stranger, she's now expecting TWINS! Yes, two babies, just like in real life.

I'm tired of watching movies that no matter what the story line is, some part of Jennifer's real life has to be in there. When she is not the feisty Latina 'from the Bronx' she is the bootylicious Drama Queen. And in this case, she is preggers with twins like she was two years ago. I can't take this anymore.

Not to mention, there were one too many images for me about babies being born and visiting the doctor during this time.

*View at your own risk

However, I did find the content very interesting as I recently did a post about women and biological clocks and this movie is a testament to a woman's need to have children before time runs out for her.

Check out the trailer here

Wake up ladies and gents!!!! The alarm is ringing!
I’ve heard about the term ‘Biological Clock’ through television shows that were too grown for me to watch at that age. However, I couldn’t help my fascination and I tried to figure out ‘do I have a biological clock?’

Initially I thought it referred to a time period women give themselves to accomplish their dreams and start a family but according to answers.com biological clocks refer to:

1. An internal mechanism in organisms that controls the periodicity of various functions or activities, such as metabolic changes, sleep cycles, or photosynthesis.
2. The progression or time period from puberty to menopause, marking a woman's ability to bear children.

And just like that, it hit me! I’ve been going on and on for some time now about not wanting marriage and children but that was only decided upon if I felt well accomplished and stable. However, somewhere in the back of my mind I want to have a successful marriage and beautiful babies but with my work load, my dreams and my attitude that may be farfetched.
What stood out to me though is the idea of women not being able to bear children after a certain age. Now that was a bummer! Doesn’t look like I would have the ability to wait around after all; that of course depends on whether or not I want kids.

I started to do some research and I came across an article on CBC News.com which stated: ‘By 37, fertility is dropping steeply, and even with the most advanced medical techniques, virtually no women over the age of 44 are able to have a baby using their own eggs.’

Wikipedia stated: ‘a females egg quality starts to decline over the age of 35.’

And a few external sites claimed that fertility starts declining after age 27 and drops at a somewhat greater rate after that age. Tough pill to swallow? What about men?

Well that’s when the facts start to become a little unfair. Men can produce fertile sperm up until they are 80 years old and even more. Now ain't that somethin!

With this kind of information I decided to conduct a survey with 20 women and 20 men between the ages of 18- 35 and the results were very interesting. I wanted to know
1. Do you have a time limit to accomplish certain things in your life
2. Do you want kids?
3. Would you be upset or okay mentally if you are not a father/mother by age 35?

Here are the results:

> 14 / 20 females have given themselves time limits to accomplish their goals (college doctrates, homes, 'sensible husband' claimed one in particular
16 / 20 males have done the same

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Jane Doe stated, 20 stated: 'by 25 I would like to be finished with my law degree and at lest begin another degree in business ... whether part time or full time by 30 I hope to be home and already have the ground works for a successful career and somewhere in between there I pray I get married so by 35, while I still can, I hope to have one kid and be able to spend time with him ... be like super mom who goes to the office but can still see his soccer games ... '

She went on to say: 'I came from a household where my mom had to put her career on hold to raise me and I'd rather be selfish in a sense and get my act together career wise. I don't want to be too busy for my child.'

John Doe, 23 stated: 'setting goals are extremly important for me. I can't function without it.'

* One participant however stated that setting goals only make someone depressed if those goals are not achieved.

> Just 4 / 20 females said they don't have a time limit to accomplish their goals

7 / 20 males said the same

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Sherice Major, 24 stated: ' I think in this day and age a woman can have a kid when she is ready without the pressure. Medicine has become advanced to make it happen and I really don't know how I feel about marriage or wanting to be married... the only reason a biological clock exists is to force women to have kids. I don't think men think of the family and kids the way women do. They're in no rush, at least the majority of them, in my opinion.'

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John Doe, 20 stated: 'I do not have a time limit, reason being, I've always been considered a late bloomer and I think I'm getting better with age as opposed to being on a downward spiral.'

When asked if he wants children he stated: 'I'm more focused on trying to be successful ... and to be honest I cannot answer that because I don't know where I'll be mentally in the next 5 years but my biggest fear is not being able to provide for my family/children and that's why I am in no rush.'

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By this time, it seems like females are more concerned with starting a family before time runs out while men are more concerned about accomplishing their goals before starting a family.

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> 20 / 20 females wanted children or had them already

19 / 20 males wanted children or had them already

> 7 / 20 Females said they will be okay with no kids at age 35 (hesitantly)

13 / 20 males said the same

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June Smith (she decided Jane Doe was ugly), 20 said:

'I'd be fine with no kids at 35. The question for me would be if I'd be okay if I wasn't married by 35. I've been watching labor videos and it's not pretty.'

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> 12/ 20 Females said they WILL NOT be happy with no children at age 35

6/ 20 Males said they WILL NOT be happy with no children at age 35

Tracey P, 20 stated: 'Right now in my life, my career is my number one concern so it dictates how other things will go. I definitely want to be married and have a family, however, I do not intend on going down that road until I am satisfied and fulfilled with my career. '

When asked about not having children by age 35:

' ... the thought of being 30, unmarried and without kids kinda frightens me but mostly because society teaches us that. When a man is 30, unmarried and without kids he's seen as cool just like George Clooney! No one bothers to ask 'oh when is he gonna get married and settle down?' but when a woman is in the same situation they say 'geee when is she gonna get married, etc.'

D'Angela Knowles, 22 stated: 'If I am single then I think it will be a bit of a downfall mentally because that's important in building a family but you can't do that unless you find the right guy'

Jillian Russell, 18 said: ' I fear that my goals and kids will clash. No kids by 35? What happens? I love kids so I won't be totally depressed but I'd be a bit upset.'

Jane Doe, 20 said: 'By 35, many of my friends will have kids in college. I think by the time I get to thirty the pressure will be on so I won't be okay with that at all!'

Ally T, 18 said: '35 is too old to start having children'

Male perspective:

Ampero, 25 stated: 'I think I'd feel like I'm lacking something if I don't meet my 35 mark; like an unfinished chapter'

Chrisean Dames, 23 stated: '35 is too old for kids'

Schvonne Mckinney, 20 stated: 'I don't want to be 50 years old with a 5 year old son'

Clearly this has been an interesting topic and I wouuld like to share my feed back in another post.